Being a woman in tech is often a unique experience, but I’d be willing to bet that we all have some shared experiences as well. I would be lying if I said there weren’t moments in stand-ups that make me roll my eyes or planning meetings where I’m biting my tongue behind a Monalisa smile just trying to get through. I get it. Regardless of who you are and the labels you associate yourself with, we have all come across nay-sayers. People that just don’t think you should be where you are, or that you should know the things that they do.

When I was asked to write about my experience as a woman in tech, I knew it was a story similar to many, even if the road there was a bit… Different.

Adventure

I’ve never been one to take the well-worn path. As a kid, I begged my parents to homeschool me and they agreed. It wasn’t until high school that I went back to public school. I got my first programming book from the library because there was only one programming class and it was reserved for boys who already had basic skills. I built my first website on GeoCities and posted all the angsty poetry I could write. The guidance counselors informed me that IT and programming would be flooded with young boys by the time I graduated and wouldn’t I do better looking into nursing or teaching? By the 12th grade, I dropped out and got my GED.

When I started college I was also working full-time on top of my work-study, so I took what I thought should be an easy elective — Introduction to Programming. The professor told me that it wasn’t really a field for women and that I shouldn’t be too upset if I didn’t pass the class. Maybe I’d be interested in the teaching or nursing program?

I focused my studies on mathematics before I accidentally got back into tech. It took me forever to graduate. I was only going to classes part-time, working 2 to 3 jobs at the same time to make ends meet. Every experience built a part of who I am. It was my TA experience and the work I did in insurance that landed me my first real gig in tech.

Last year after nearly a decade of proofreading code and designing tests, I joined the community-building side of DevOps. I learned so much about the value of a good community and being involved. Unfortunately with the layoffs of the 2022 holiday season, I’m on to the next adventure — whatever road that takes me down (though I have a few goals and ideas).

Allyship

At some point in my studies I stumbled into the fact that by 1984, women started disappearing at alarming rates from what had previously been “women’s work” — the math and programming that had been relegated to the secretarial pool. The New York Times did an amazing write-up. In 1984 the rate of female computer science graduates was 37%. By 2010, the graduation rate of female computer science majors was only 17%.

I was still in school in 2010, taking math and computer science classes and as I looked around me, I saw classes that were pretty 50/50, so what was happening? I know for me it was a million microaggressions that I think women face every day (with a few truly misogynistic duds thrown in for spice) that made me second guess myself and made me work even harder just to be heard.

Just a few things that were said to me as a woman in tech classes:

• “Don’t worry if you don’t do well. It’s a man’s field.” – When I was the only girl in class
• “Let me double-check your math. It’s a difficult equation.” – When I was the only student with a higher than algebra education
• “Why don’t you take notes in our group and I’ll do the coding?” – When I was the only one who had used the programming language
• “Are you sure you can keep up with this class and your job? I don’t want a bad grade.” – When my GPA was the highest in the class

As I found my footing in the tech world I found more allies than I had anticipated. Sure, some days still feel like death by a thousand papercuts. I couldn’t even begin to tell you how many times I’ve bled from those cuts and had to come back covered in Band-Aids to act as if nothing had happened.

My first ally was a young dev my age that ended up accidentally working in QA with me. He was the first person to stop someone from interrupting me and then call others out when they were repeating what I said like it was some new shiny idea they just thought of.

A couple of years later, I worked with a senior dev who would explain the architecture of our software to me, discuss his ideas on what we were trying to build, and then actually ask my opinion on patterns and pitfalls. He was highly respected on the team and his example made my job as the only QA (and the only woman) a little easier.

Most recently, while working in community, I had an amazing leader who helped me start undoing all the past trauma of those hostile workplaces and build up relationships that were more supportive than I knew was possible. Now I have a network of people that share their struggles, lift each other up, and shine their light wherever they go.

Architecture

In software, we talk about the architecture of a system describing the major components and how they interact with each other. Good architecture breeds innovation because the structures in place support new development and maintenance and easy deployment by building a solid foundation first.

As it turns out, when we surround ourselves with allies and spend time investing in ourselves, that foundation can support great heights. If we let ourselves listen to those who would knock us down, we would never be able to build much. It takes all your energy being in a defensive, survival mode leaving no energy for new development or sometimes even maintenance.

With a good foundation, I’ve been able to architect support structures and a solid foundation. I was finally able to start building up when I found those allies that didn’t let me listen to those nay-sayers and microaggressions and instead encouraged that growth with great communication and community.

Onto the Next Adventure

When I first received this writing prompt, I thought it would be an easy write-up, but the more I wrote, the more I realized I was still holding onto some things I didn’t remember holding onto. It seems I still have more trauma to recover from and a few walls to break down. At the risk of being incredibly cheesy and as I embark on the next adventure in my life, I will try to remember to be a better ally to those around me so that they can be better allies too.

What will you do to make tech a better place?